Going from top to bottom:

• 1) Sliding hiatal hernia: also known as slip hernia, where a small part of the stomach sometimes protrudes up through the hiatus, the opening in the diaphragm that usually separates the stomach and the oesophagus. Also I have a small patch of stomach tissue growing a bit further up in the wall of the oesophagus.

Rarity factor: 50% of the US population over the age of 50 is thought to have one.

Inconvenience factor: minor. Most people with hiatal hernias have no symptoms at all. I find that fizzy drinks give me indigestion, but I don’t like them much anyway. I did get a granuloma removed from my larynx a couple of years ago, supposedly caused by acid reflux.

• 2) Pig bronchus: And extra opening from the trachea to the right lung, so that the upper and lower parts of the lung are largely fed separately.

Rarity factor: pretty rare. I see a figure of 0.1%-2% of the population having it.

Inconvenience factor: none, on a day-to-day basis. But if I am ever intubated, they’ll have to take care.

• 3) Supernumerary renal arteries: Rather than the normal situation on each kidney being supplied by a single artery branching off the abdominal aorta, I have two on each side.

Rarity factor: surprisingly common, estimates ranging between 15% to 30% of people having this particular anatomical quirk. So there’s a good chance that you have it too, and just nevef realised.

Inconvenience factor: none. If anything it probably means that my blood is cleaner, given that more of it is getting to my kidneys.

• 4) Dolichocolon: My large intestine is much longer than usual, crammed into my abdomen with an extra twist compared to most people’s.

Rarity factor: Utterly unknown. One article that I found gave the prevalence as 1.9%-28.5% of the population, which is not exactly precise.

Inconvenience factor: chronic. I suffer from acute IBS symptoms once every few months, and the extra long colon is certainly part of the cause; but I haven’t yet established the specific triggers (full cream is a suspect). Meanwhile, I consume plenty of fibre and liquids.

• 5) Leg length discrepancy: I’ve twice in my career had to take a week or so off work with back pain. The first time this happened, I went to a physiotherapist who took one look at me and said, “Your right leg is shorter.” It’s not very much shorter – certainly the difference is less than a centimetre and probably less than 5 millimetres – but ever since then I have been aware that when standing up, I’m leaning on my right side and balancing with my left leg, rather than spreading the weight between them.

Rarity factor: How long is a piece of string? One website suggests that 40%-70% of people have length difference in their legs.

Inconvenience factor: minor. I have tried the Couch to 5k programme a couple of times and both time flared out with intense pain in my right calf after the tenth day or so; running increases the imbalance on my spine. So I’ve come to the conclusion that cycling is the better way for me.

Just in case my mutilated corpse ever needs to be identified, and other features are not available…