Useless careers tip

I signed up ages back for the service that alerts you when interesting Euro-jobs are coming up. Unfortunately the service in question seems to have looked only at my primary degree (in astrophysics), and ignored the fact that I gave up science in 1989 and have made my living out of politics since 1996. So I get a job notification today where the requirements are as follows:


The successful applicant will be responsible, among others, for:

· Provision of 2nd level technical support for all users;
· The installation and upgrading of ICT systems;
· Assisting with the development of [agency]’s functional applications and information systems;
· Maintaining computer network systems and databases including security and back up operations;
· Developing web projects;
· Assistance in the definition of procedures for technical support of IT services and applications;
· Programming of applications for [agency]’s internal use such as financial and operational management systems;
· Maintenance of internal applications;
· Organisation of the IT services (scanning, printing etc);
· Performing any other tasks requested by the ICT Systems Administrator or the Head of Information Management.

Formal requirements

Candidates will be considered for the selection phase on the basis of the following criteria to be fulfilled by the deadline for applications:

· National of an EU Member State;
· Thorough knowledge of one of the official languages of the European Union and a satisfactory knowledge of another of the EU official languages;
· A level of post – secondary education attested by a diploma or;
· A level of secondary education attested by a diploma which gives access to post secondary education and appropriate professional experience of at least 3 years;
· In addition to the above, 3 years of professional experience.

Competences and skills

Candidates selected on the basis of the above formal requirements will then be evaluated according to the following criteria:

· Experience and knowledge in the areas mentioned above under “responsibilities”;
· Knowledge of Microsoft office tools from a user’s point of view;
· Experience in planning, installing and maintaining of Windows 2003 Server and Windows XP Professional;
· Experience in MS SQL Server and Oracle databases;
· Experience in Web design.


The following characteristics will be considered as additional assets:
· Good knowledge of English and Dutch; knowledge of additional languages is desirable.
· Experience in a multicultural environment;
· Excellent communication skills.

I mean, why bother wasting my time with this? I satisfy the formal requirements, apart from the rather crucial last one, and I certainly qualify for the three nice asset bullet points at the end, but I don’t have any (well, hardly any) of the actual specific competences and skills required for the job.

Still, maybe someone reading this does have those competences and skills, and actually wants a B3 grade job (ie around €50k) based in the Hague. If so please let me know and I’ll pass it on to you.

One thought on “Useless careers tip

  1. I feel obliged to draw your attention to my explanation of The Sontaran Experiment, here — in brief: Styre is known to Sontarans to be a psychopath and sent to strategically unimportant planet to get him out of the way. (NB the video nasties bit of that comment is wrong).

    Also my horror-filmic take on Genesis, here and below — in brief: a sensible way of looking at Genesis is as a penny dreadful about a psycho mother desperately defending her kids.

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