Ten fictional characters who I would shag:

Actually, I found this very difficult after the first three. If the story-line is one of a romance with a happy ending, then I feel I don’t want to interfere in someone else’s relationship (even a fictional character’s). And even if it’s not that kind of story, just because I find them interesting doesn’t mean I’m desperately keen to shag them. So, the top four I’m totally sure of, largely because their role in the story includes a certain element of shagging everything that looks sufficiently interesting, and I think I would be sufficiently interested for a fling; the next two are fascinating characters who don’t exactly radiate availability but I wouldn’t mind a go with, as long as I knew I’d survive the experience; and the bottom four are a grab-bag from my shelves and memory of TV programmes. So, in reverse order, the ten fictional characters I’d shag are:

10. Stephanie Plum

She’s been good company for me on many a plane flight, particularly going through Vienna airport where she always seems to be waiting for me. Stephanie hunts down bad guys (though not usually very bad guys) in New Jersey, and we hear of her life via Janet Evanovich. Her love life is complex, and I would figure in it only briefly.

9. Helena Justina

Like Stephanie, Helena Justina solves mysteries and fights crime, but this time in first-century Rome. This picture (if indeed it is her) doesn’t show her at her best; she is aristocratic, sarcastic, and very intelligent. She would also break my rule of not interfering in a steady relationship, since she lives in nearly wedded bliss with Marcus Didius Falco, at least according to author Lindsey Davies. However, I don’t think it counts, because he has been dead for about 1900 years. (Of course, so has she…)

8. Caitlín Mulryan

7. Susan Ivanova

Funny how despite the fact that I’m a Doctor Who fan, and have more than a passing acquaintance with Star Trek, there’s none of the characters that really leap into the bonkable category for me. On the other hand, I only watched Babylon 5 a few times, yet I’d really like to take Commander Ivanova aside and help her unwind. And see below for two more classic media sf characters.

6. Death

Definitely in the category of dangerous but attractive. Very dangerous.

5. Scully

This feels like a bit of a cop-out, since I found the X-Files increasingly silly as the years went on; but if we’re talking early series Scully, still trying to make sense of the confusing world around her, then I think it’s possible.

4. Dr Frank ‘N’ Furter

Don’t get strung out By the way I look Don’t judge a book by its cover I’m not much of a man By the light of day But by night I’m one hell of a lover! How could anyone resist?

3. Eleanor of Aquitaine

Now, this really is cheating in that Eleanor of Aquitaine was a genuine historical personality. My excuse is that so many myths and legends have been woven around her that she has featured as a fictional character in numerous novels, plays and films. The picture here is the only one known to be really her, from her tombstone, and probably doesn’t represent her at her most glamorous (she was around 80 when she died in 1204). If she could fit me into her busy schedule in the spring of 1152, between her divorcing the king of France (to whom she had been married for fifteen years) and marrying the future king of England, I wouldn’t complain. She’d have been in her late 20s at the time.

2. Phedre no Delaunay

Scholar, spy and courtesan, world traveller and political activist, in the universe that is described by author Jacqueline Carey, I think I could find enough in common with Phedre to make it work for at least one hot date, since that is her specialty.

1. Faith

What more need be said? (Though oddly enough I can’t manage the same level of enthusiasm for Tru in Tru Calling. I guess it’s the superior production values of Buffy.)

[Edited to add:] I was inspired to do this by ‘s list, though I think I may have seen it from someone else first. Since then I note another list of boys from , and lists of girls from here and here.

Thanks to comments below from , I realise that I unjustly neglected both Bernice Summersfield from the New Adventures of Doctor Who series, and Ashley Watt from Iain Banks’ novel The Crow Road. I would also like to add Angelina DiGriz of the Stainless Steel Rat books from ‘s list, and Officer Tina Russo from Hill Street Blues from ‘s list. So, sorry to Stephanie Plum, Helena Justina, Caitlín Mulryan, and Scully, you’re off the list. (But Susan Ivanova can stay on it.)