I´m incandescent with rage. This doesn´t happen to me often; I think of myself as a calm and unflappable person.

I arrived at the hotel at 1245, having had an email from my London colleagues to the effect that a much-postponed task at work was now really urgent. Fine, I thought, it will take me the guts of an hour, I can do that and catch the last half of the conference session this afternoon.

No WiFi in the room. Called reception. They promised to get a cable.

Watched some Doctor Who. (The Invisible Enemy, episode 1.) No cable. Called again.

Oredered up room service lunch. Unlike the cable, it arrived promptly. Cable turned up an hour after I had asked for it. Plugged it in.

No connection.

Called reception, explained the problem. “We´ll send the technician right away.”

Half an hour later, called again. Again, “We´ll send someone right now.”

Another half hour, called again, same answer. Wrote a couple of book reviews.

Went downstair to reception and stood there until they found the technician for me. This took another 20 minutes.

He turned up with another cable. I explained, the receptionist interpreting, that they had given me a cable two hours ago; my problem was the connection.

I almost saw a little light go on over the technician´s head. He explained, and the receptionist translated, that the network connection was down for the whole hotel.

I explained that I would have appreciated knowing this three hourse earlier when I first asked to be connected to the internet; or indeed two hours earlier when he had given me the first cable; and that I was now going to miss an important session of an important conference because I had wasted time believing their promises. I announced that I was going down town to find a cyber cafe, since obviously nothing works in the hotel. The receptionist started pleading with me to wait a few minutes, but I didn´t.

Called my colleagues in London and told them I was too angry to do it today, and it would have to wait until Monday. Colleagues (as usual, to give them credit) were sympathetic.

Have just about calmed down sufficiently to go back to the hotel. At least my rant at the reception was closely witnessed by the hotel liaison person from the conference I am attending. I´m not actually paying for my room, but at least my predicament has made some impression on the people who are.

(Having said which, apparently I have to fork out for my own meals today, though not tomorrow or Sunday. At least this is a fairly cheap country, but overall I am not impressed and wishing I had stayed at home.)