Start the week

  1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
  2. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
  3. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
  4. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
  5. “Doc, I can’t stop singing “The Green, Green Grass of Home.”
    “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
    “Is it common?”
    “It’s not unusual.”
  6. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
  7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
  8. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
  9. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
  10. And finally, there was the person who posted ten different puns to his blog with the hope that one of them would make people laugh. No pun in ten did.
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1 Response to Start the week

  1. gmh says:

    I have something to say that might possibly offend the theoretical lurking purists…

    There are two versions of ‘Wind, Sand and Stars’; the version that was first published, and the version that I grew up with (Penguin Modern Classics, ~1960something, a Klee cover), which has a couple of essays from the Spanish Civil war shoehorned into the text … and I prefer the augmented text; his essays on the Civil War are absolutely brilliant and fit with the overall narrative very well.

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