Those Father Ted Mastermind Questions In Full

Some kind person has posted these as a comment to an earlier entry:

  1. Father Ted repeatedly makes what claim about the missing money that was the cause of him being sent to Craggy Island?
    It was resting in his account.

  2. Which unfortunate priest is frequently distracted by phone calls from Ted doing activities like knife throwing, downhill skiing, and being held at gunpoint?
    Larry Duff.

  3. In the first episode what song does Father Dougal slip into his recitation to the Lord’s Prayer?
    Papa Don’t Preach.

  4. In Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest, under which statue does Ted say he has left the money for the milkman?
    Our Lord Being Embarrassed By The Romans.

  5. As physiotherapist to the over-75’s football team what does Dougal believe the magic sponge does?
    Soaks up germs.

  6. What’s the headline on the front page of the newspaper that someone is trying to show Ted while he is denouncing hypocrisy to Neve Connelly in Rock-A-Hulu Ted?
    Ted has described the lovely girls as having lovely bottoms.

  7. In Competition Times Ted is seen reading which glossy magazine which has a picture of The Pope on the front?
    Halo.

  8. During the protest over the banned film The Passion of Saint Tibulus, Father Ted has a placard with “Down with this sort of thing”. What’s on Dougal’s?
    Careful Now.

  9. In Tentacles Of Doom, what does Father Dougal think bishops do until Father Ted puts him right?
    Fumigate houses.

  10. When the parochial house is infested with rabbits Father Ted says he won’t rest until there is only one rabbit left. Which one?
    The one in Dougal’s head.

  11. What make of ear clamps for stopping crows from pinching glasses are advertised in opticians on the mainland?
    Hanratty’s.

  12. According to Ted in Entertaining Father Stone, what was the only side-effect of Dougal being struck by lightning?
    Balloons stuck to him.

  13. In the episode Hell, Mrs Doyle said she had put cocaine in the cake but then realised she meant what?
    Cinnamon. (WRONG, the right answer was raisins.)

  14. In the final episode of Series One how does an exasperated Ted suggest Dougal managed to get into the priesthood?
    He gets in on crisp packets.

  15. In his escape from the airplane in Flight of Terror, Father Jack wants one parachute for himself and one for what?
    The drinks trolley.

  16. In the first episode of Father Jack’s Dream about taking a group of schoolgirls for volleyball practice, what is written on the blackboard behind him?
    Natural Procreation.

  17. In the beginning of New Jack City which horse is Ted cheering on in the race he is listening to on the radio?
    Divorce Referendum.

  18. In Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading, what does Ted suggest that Dick Byrne should give up for Lent?
    Being the biggest eejit in the parish.
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1 Response to Those Father Ted Mastermind Questions In Full

  1. pgmcc says:

    In the last election Gerry Adams took part in a debate, but obviously hadn’t done his homework in relation to the issues south of the border. We were all concerned about the economy, a subject he did not appeat to be au fait with. His performance had a big impact on the SF vote as it was broadcast across the nation and affected every constituency.

    This time, he is standing himself, and in terms of his constituency, he does have a lot of local support. For that reason his media performance is not likely to damage his own chances of getting elected.

    In terms of the broader country: Well, none of the parties are demonstrating any credibility; most people are voting anybody but FF, and all the non-FF parties are standing on an anti FF platform; so Gerry isn’t likely to do any damage to SF this time round.

    I must say, I can’t find anyone worth voting for in this election. FG & Labour supported FF in bringing in the budget and Finance Bill and are now denying it; so they can’t be trusted. The Left Alliance is simply a patchwork quilt of different groupings with no coherent policy or strategy other than saying, “NO!” to everything. (Where have I heard that before.)

    It takes me back to my days living in Northern Ireland; I found that I voted against people rather than for anybody.

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