One or two bits of this are actually imaginable if the relevant people could be brought together…

nhw’s LJ New Year Party (Now At Least 8% Politically Correct!)

Started : 01st January 2006 12:29:11 AM
Ended : 01st January 2006 03:17:47 PM
Alco Money! : $ 667

Guests of Honour

nrivkis is a powerless Buddhist. nrivkis drank 7 Pilsners, 1 Hot Toddy.
leex is a paranoid Hindu. leex drank 11 Gins, 4 Champagnes, 4 Sambuccas.
mylescorcoran is a poignant Wiccan and an all around space cadet who’s mind has been destroyed by beer over the years. mylescorcoran drank 1 Champagne, 3 Pulques, 2 Goldschlagers.
h0pal0ng is an unhappy Hindu and an all around space cadet who’s mind has been destroyed by beer over the years. h0pal0ng drank 9 Pulques, 8 Sherrys.
swisstone is an easy-going Buddhist and a fiery pint monster. swisstone drank 14 Ciders.
slovobooks is a hung-up Muslim who deliberately wastes police time during natural disasters. slovobooks drank 7 Stouts, 4 Aligator Bites, 4 Aftershocks, 4 Tequilas.
eimear_rose is a hearty Muslim. eimear_rose drank 8 Bloody Marys.
bugshaw is a vile Agnostic who constantly reprimands children for typos on internet forums. bugshaw drank 1 Rum, 12 Stouts, 1 Vermouth, 1 Rum.
bring_back_food is a sexually repressed Atheist. bring_back_food drank 9 Cosmopolitans.
nhw is a jaded Buddhist. nhw drank 9 Everclears, 2 Mint Juleps, 1 Cosmopolitan.
ianmcdonald is an edgy Buddhist and is dedicated to furthering scientific research into alcohol poisioning. ianmcdonald drank 11 Pilsners, 6 Red Wines, 1 Vodka.
james_nicoll is an abhorrent Fundementalist Christian and a prolific barfer, particularly at parties such as this who insists that their farts are aromatic and alluring. james_nicoll decided to not drink because of their religious beliefs.
eyeliner297 is a depressed Muslim and an overweight, boozed up – spadehead. eyeliner297 drank 4 Poteens, 2 Pernods, 3 Aftershocks, 2 Stouts.

Sick!

Clean up at nhw’s place! Urgh bejesus man, there’s soup pieces in this barfpile! Fucking ell theres 7 of them!

Fights

At approximately 06:03:49 AM james_nicoll attempted to summon the demons out of mylescorcoran by baptising them over the toilet. The police were summoned shortly before mylescorcoran‘s soul could be saved by Holy Jesus.

As per usual bring_back_food was the first person to pass out in the party – james_nicoll tried to captalise on this by flogging the alcoholic to near-death with the King James Version. bring_back_food is currently making a steady recovery in hospital.

Lovers

Last night someone told slovobooks and bring_back_food to get a room and they sure did. We now await the patter of tiny feet! Lets hope that the child does not lool like slovobooks! Oh god no, the humanity!

The Drunkest

leex was by far the most pissed by the end of the night and even admitted to being
rather partial to the odd Coldplay track.

Random Events

ianmcdonald called swisstone a “Heathen Bastard!!” before attempting to baptise them over the toilet bowl with bleach.

bugshaw made violent love with james_nicoll on top of the television.

Oh the powers of persusasion! nrivkis managed to convince a less than sober bring_back_food that the milkman had run away with their dentures. bring_back_food began chewing on the sofa, realising 5 hours later that they had a healthy set of teeth!

Happy New Year!

Do you believe in all of that New Years Resolution shit? If not, celebrate the New Year as you mean to go on with the ultimate new years party from hell!

Enter your name below to experience the ultimate in complete useless bollocks!

Your Hero God Loves Coke.

One thought on “One or two bits of this are actually imaginable if the relevant people could be brought together…

  1. I’ll look out for that. I used to have a friend whose mother had grown up in German Danzig and came to England as a “stateless alien”.

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