March Books 11) Eleanor of Aquitaine: Lord and Lady

11) Eleanor of Aquitaine: Lord and Lady ed. Bonnie Wheeler and John Carmi Parsons.

Eleanor of Aquitaine is perhaps the most fascinating character of the 12th century; first married at thirteen, she divorced King Louis VII of France to marry the future King Henry II or England. I’ve written briefly about my relationship with Eleanor before (doing my M Phil back in 1991 I discovered a medieval horoscope apparently cast for her exact date of birth, 14 December 1123, which is otherwise unrecorded). She’s also a direct ancestor of mine by various genealogical routes. Probably anyone who can trace their family tree to the nobility of any country in Western Europe can say the same.

This book is a collection of academic essays which try to re-contextualise her as a ruler rather than as a romantic figure. Unfortunately for the authors, though fortunately for the reader, the drama of the story frequently pulls them into precisely the type of non-academic psycho-history that they criticise from more popular writers. So, for instance, desperate attempts to be poker-faced and serious about comparisons of Eleanor’s career with those of previous Queens of England, other contemporary noblewomen, her own daughters and grand-daughters, or (a long shot but ultimately convincing) Marie Antoinette 600 years later, end up getting carried away with the drama. (The exceptions, oddly enough, are two dry chapters on Eleanor’s divorce, and several unconvincing ones on her image in contemporary literature – apart from the brief reflection on her portrayal in William Marshal’s reminiscences.)

Lots of material for reflection here on how powerful and/or royal women are portrayed even today, especially now that power is largely divorced from royalty. Just consider the American right’s demonisation of Hillary Clinton, the fascination mutually exerted between Pricess Diana and the press, even the fuss over my friend Mabel. Though Eleanor was in a class apart; this is a woman who still signed herself (and behaved as) Queen of England even during the reigns of her two married sons, when technically the title belonged to Berengaria of Navarre and Isabella of Angouleme.

But for me the standout chapter was a brief one on a vase given by Eleanor as a wedding present to her first husband, and then passed on by him to the abbey of St-Denis, now on display in the Louvre. The vase was originally given to Eleanor’s grandfather, the famously rambunctious troubadour Duke William IX of Aquitaine, by a former ally who was a Muslim ruler in Spain, temporarily on the same side as the local Christians against an external Muslim threat. But it originally appears to have come from Sassanid Persia, probably made there before the 7th-century Islamic conquest; it would have found its way through the Islamic world to al-Andalus, before passing into Christian hands in 1120.

I also liked the chapters on the family funerary arrangements personally planned by Eleanor in her favourite abbey of Fontevraud, where her second husband Henry II (d. 1189), her favourite son Richard the Lion Heart (1199), her daughter Joan (also 1199) and she herself (1204) still rest, their tombs surmounted by lifesize effigies which were apparently unprecedented in Western Europe at the time. It wasn’t what Henry II had planned for his own burial, but an on-the-spot decision appears to have been made by William Marshall when he died unexpectedly; perhaps, I would speculate, assisted by the new king Richard, who certainly was in the vicinity and would have been more inclined to honour his mother’s wishes than his father’s?

Not a book for the casual reader, but for anyone interested in the period it’s absolutely fascinating.

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I got quoted in Russian!

From an article in today’s issue of Vedomosti, a Russian newspaper:

“Албанцы впервые открыто нападают на миротворцев, – говорит Николас Уайт. – В глазах западных держав именно они являются агрессорами”.

Haven’t a clue what it says but I can at least recognise my own name, Николас Уайт.

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Asteroid near miss

I see we had a small asteroid come within 46,000 km of the Earth yesterday (not clear if that takes into account the Earth’s 6,000 km radius). Well done Project Spaceguard for picking it up.

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Bias and dhimmitude

Reaction to my BBC interview about the riots in Kosovo:

From: Xxxx
Sent: 18 March 2004 03:55
To: Nicholas Whyte
Subject: Your BBC Kosovo appearance- Bias and dhimmitude

Mr Whyte,

You sound like a Dhimmi(Jihadi appeaser) when you blame the Serbs. The Muslims already got a separate country- Kosovo. It seems that is not enough. Now they want to drive out the Serbs by terrorizing them. Shooting the Serb boy first was the initial step in this plan.

The Islamist can’t coexist anywhere- be it Balkans, Palestine, Kashmir, Philippines or Russia. Have you seen what happened to minorities in these regions. The pattern is obvious to everybody except apologists like you. Give Islamist a finger, then they want your entire arm.

Pansy spineless Britishers like you are the big reason for global terrorism. You appease and embolden these Islamist thugs. People like you have already handed UK to these thugs. Leave the honorable Serbs alone.

Have you ever thought of converting to Islam and ending this charade ? Or your Dhimmi masters in the NGO prefer a British Christian do their talking. I bet they love you.

They love the ‘weak and the meek’, but hate the ‘brave and the free’.

Sincerely,
Xxxx

My reply:

Dear Mr Xxxx,

I’m sorry that you didn’t catch my condemnation of the violence and my characterisation of the Serbian government’s reaction as “restrained”. It was only a short interview, but perhaps it was still too long for your concentration span.

Sincerely,

Nicholas Whyte

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Going all to hell

Seems that they’re busy out shopping for handbaskets in Kosovo… off to do a gloomy interview about it for BBC World TV (1700 GMT, 1800contintental, for those of you inclined to watch).

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Georgian opinion poll

Q. In your opinion, was it the right or the wrong thingfor President Eduard Shevardnadze to resign?

Right thing: 93%
Wrong thing: 2%
No opinion: 5%

(One of my colleagues asked, “What was the margin of error?” At that rate it hardly matters…)

Q. Of the prominent Georgian people and characters in Georgian history and popular culture, who is most suitable to be a national hero or leader in current times?

The news here is that Stalin has slipped 4% from last year and now shares second place with Queen Tamara (born 1156, ruled 1184–1213). King David the Builder (born 1073, ruled 1089-1125) comes out far ahead of the rest as always.

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A new perversion

Dan Savage writes a frank and robust syndicated column every week in which he advises readers about sex acts which I usually have not even heard of before let alone ever participated in. But in this week’s column he has met his match: “rarely do I get a question about a subject, sex act, position, kink, or bodily fluid that I’ve never had the pleasure of addressing before. But your question, PWW, is definitely a first. And a treat! … That’s the kind of question I live for! I almost hate to admit it — I mean, I don’t want you to think I’m as sick a fuck as your grandmother is — but I was thrilled to receive your letter. Thrilled!”

Though in fairness there’s no real evidence that the grandmother is getting off on it.

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French joke

Old joke, new French version (when I first heard this over a decade ago, the protagonists were Helmut Kohl, Hans-Dietrich Genscher, President Bush senior, Dan Quayle and Henry Kissinger).

Jacques Chirac dîne avec la reine d’Angleterre. Soudain, il lui demande: “Votre Majesté, vous m’impressionnez, vous êtes toujours entourée de gens intelligents, comment faites-vous?”

La reine lui répond “C’est très simple. Je les tiens constamment en alerte. Je leur fais passer régulièrement des petits tests pour être bien sûre que leur intelligence reste vive.”

Chirac, stupéfait: “Ah oui ? Comment faites-vous ça ?”

La reine s’empare du téléphone: “C’est très simple. Je vais vous montrer.” Elle appelle Tony Blair: – Bonjour Tony!

– Bonjour Votre Majesté!

– Tony, j’ai un petit test d’intelligence pour vous. C’est l’enfant de votre père et de votre mère mais ce n’est pas votre frère, ni votre soeur. Qui est-ce?

– C’est moi!

– Bravo, vous l’avez! Merci Tony. À la prochaine.” La reine raccroche. Jacques Chirac est impressionné: “Wow!”

De retour à Paris, le président décide de mettre en pratique la technique de la reine d’Angleterre. Il téléphone à Jean-Pierre Raffarin [the French prime minister, not widely renowned for his intellect]:

– Bonjour Jean-Pierre, c’est Jacques ! J’ai un petit test d’intelligence pour toi!

– Ah oui? Vas-y.

– C’est l’enfant de ton père et de ta mère mais ce n’est pas ton frère, ni ta soeur. Qui est-ce?

– Oh! Attends un petit peu. Je n’étais pas préparé à ça. Laisse-moi quelques minutes pour y penser. Je vais te rappeler.

– D’accord, pas de problème!

Jean-Pierre Raffarin s’empresse alors d’appeler Nicolas Sarkozy [the French interior minister, seen by many as too clever by half].

– Bonjour Nicolas, c’est Jean-Pierre. Je ne sais pas ce qui lui prend mais Chirac vient de me faire passer un test d’intelligence. Et ce n’est vraiment pas évident. M’aiderais-tu?

– Avec plaisir.

– Voilà. C’est l’enfant de ton père et de ta mère mais ce n’est pas ton frère, ni ta soeur. Qui est-ce ?

– Ben, c’est moi!

– Parfait! Merci! Jean-Pierre Raffarin s’empresse de rappeler Jacques Chirac.

– Jacques, tu peux me redemander ton énigme.

– Ok. C’est l’enfant de ton père et de ta mère mais ce n’est pas ton frère, ni ta soeur. Qui est-ce?

– C’est Nicolas Sarkozy!

– Ben non, loupé! C’est Tony Blair!

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You can tell that University Challenge was recorded some time ago…

…when one of the questions is, “In Operation Restore Democracy, in October 1994, with the unanimous approval of the UN Security Council, the United States invaded the Caribbean republic of Haiti in order to return which democratically elected president to power?”

(A few years later, one of the officials involved grumbled to me that it was the stupidest damn thing he’d ever been involved with, and shortly after our conversation resigned from the State Department. I hear he’s writing bad thrillers now.)

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Search Me!

Or rather, searching on my name at Amazon.com produces some gratifying results; apart from the book-of-my-thesis and another one I co-edited, the new internal search facility finds:

  • The book-of-my-thesis cited as an authority on the relationship between religion and science in Taking Flight: Inventing the Aerial Age from Antiquity Through the First World War by Richard P. Hallion, and as scientific commentary in the ‘Ithaca’ chapter of Joyce’s Revenge: History, Politics, and Aesthetics in Ulysses by Andrew Gibson
  • My chapter in the book I co-edited, cited for obvious history-of-science reasons in History of Irish Thought by Thomas Duddy and in John Wilson Foster’s chapter, “Changes of Address: Tyndall, Darwin and the Ulster Presbyterians” in Hearts and Minds: Irish Culture and Society Under the Act of Union edited by Bruce Stewart
  • my article on the history of astrology in History of Astronomy : An Encyclopedia edited by John Lankford and Marc Rothenberg (Editor)
  • I turn up as a character in Twilight Whispers, a romantic novel by Barbara Delinsky: There was the oldest, Nicholas Whyte, somber yet dashing, the heir apparent to the Whyte Estate, and his wife, Angie, a stunning woman who had been the casue of many a broken heart when she had removed Nicholas from the ranks of the eligible many years before.

And one or two other odd ends that don’t seem to actually have my name in them but are pulled up by the search engine anyway. Fun.

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March Books 10) The Sandman Book of Dreams

10) The Sandman Book of Dreams, ed Neil Gaiman and Ed Kramer (and, uncredited, Martin Greenberg)

A nice idea, short stories based around the Sandman structure. The one that really stood out for me was the horrific “Splatter” by Will Shetterly, telling the story of the Cereal convention from a different perspective. (Oddly, Shetterly doesn’t appear to have published a short story since this 1996 collection.) Most of the other pieces were good but not remarkable.

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SFsite 2003 books list

Just got round to checking the SFsite‘s lists of best books of 2003, as follows; X means I’ve read it with link to a review if I did one, O means I haven’t, and I note my intentions as well. Any further feedback – especially on the lines of “X is fantastic” or “Y stinks” – much welcomed.

readers’ list contributors’ list
1st X Ilium by Dan Simmons – will look out for the sequel 1st O The Light Ages by Ian MacLeod – generally recommended, but I can wait until paperback in April
2nd O Venniss Underground by Jeff VanderMeer – rated second in both lists; even the paperback seemed a bit pricey but if it’s as good as his City of Saints and Madmen perhaps I shall think again
3rd O The Darkness that Comes Before by R. Scott Bakker – rave reviews, maybe I’ll pick up the paperback in Dublin or Belfast when I’m there in two weeks 3rd X Ilium by Dan Simmons – see above
4th X Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson – good stuff, though really too long 4th O Kalpa Imperial by Angélica Gorodischer, tr Ursula Le Guin – sounds very intruguing, but will be impossible to find in the shops; probably will buy it from Amazon if I find my economics suddenly improving
=5th O The Light Ages by Ian MacLeod – see above
=5th O Absolution Gap by Alastair Reynolds – I was underwhelmed by the first in this series and unless I hear that this is far better and doesn’t require reading the others first I will leave it.
5th X Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson – see above
6th X Pattern Recognition by William Gibson – Gibson’s first decent novel in my (heretical) view 6th 0 Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde – will buy this one on sight in paperback, as I enjoyed the two predecessors
7th O Fool’s Fate by Robin Hobb – this is one author I’ve never got into though enthusiasts are pretty evangelical; does anyone here think she’s on a par with George R.R. Martin? 7th O Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett – impressive that the contributors rather than the readers rated this; I think Pratchett may be only now getting into his stride; buy on sight in paperback for me
8th O Broken Angels by Richard Morgan – sounds rather gory =8th O Diary by Chuck Palahniuk – sounds rather weird
=8th O Succession by Scott Westerfield – two novels rather than one; quite a commitment to make for an otherwise unknown author; any views out there?
9th X Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling – too long; she’s losing her edge =9th O The Golden Transcendence by John C. Wright – I have a feeling I read the first of this series and quite liked it but not enough to read the rest
=9th O Succession by Scott Westerfield – see above
10th O The Briar King by Gregory Keyes – piles of this author’s books in the local remainder bookshop, which is a bit worrying when you consider that I live in Belgium =10th O The Facts of Life by Graham Joyce – won World fantasy Award, sounds rather good
=10th O The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases ed Jeff VanderMeer and Mark Roberts – with a title like that, how could anyone resist? (though I’ll wait till the paperback; I hope there will be one)
=10th O The Knight by Gene Wolfe – again, universally recommended; but I can wait for the paperback

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March books 9) The Hounds of the Morrigan

9) The Hounds of the Morrigan by Pat O’Shea.

Feeling ill and otherwise shattered, I’ve finally read this neglected classic. On my web page of Irish sf and fantasy I have catalogued a large number of Celtic legends retold for adults, some of which I have actually bought if I found them in cheap enough second hand paperback editions. They are all really crap. I don’t think I’ve read a good retelling of Cuchulainn since Rosemary Sutcliff, or in fairness Lady Gregory. And the efforts of non-Irish writiers to paint a realistic portrait of Ireland in any era, heroic or present day, are usually just embarrassing.

The Hounds of the Morrigan is several orders of magnitude better than any of these. The genre of children swept into a parallel world where they will make a crucial contribution in the supernatural battle between good and evil is an honorable and occasionally cliched one (I’m thinking especially of E. Nesbit and Alan Garner here). But O’Shea catches the voice of Ireland accurately and sympathetically, and as well as the main story, which depends completely on the structures of Celtic mythology, I caught references to James Stephens’ The Crock of Gold, Flann O’Brien’s The Third Policeman and rather to my surprise (perhaps I was imagining it) Eric Cross’ banned classic The Tailor and Ansty.

The book is perhaps a bit longer than it needed to be, and as with many quest narratives one does end up wondering why they had to go the long way around (the most recent Harry Potter is a particularly good example of this). But I’d have thought any literate and patient eight-year-old would find it very rewarding. In my current state of general debilitation, I certainly did.

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Georgia News

The amusing bit: Georgia’s new Foreign Minister is the French Ambassador. Not, that is, Georgia’s representative in Paris, but France’s representative in Tbilisi. It’s fairly frequent for ambassadors to suddenly become foreign ministers of their own country, but to suddenly become foreign mnister of somewhere else is rather unusual…

The less amusing bit: things are looking very nasty in Ajara. And if you haven’t heard of Ajara yet, I very much fear you will have heard of it by Monday…

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Reverse astrology

Your Reverse Astrology Results

Red is your most probable sign and Blue is your least probable sign. The scores are from 0 (not you at all) to 100 (dead on match).

Aries   Mar 21 to April 19   46
Taurus   April 20 to May 20   57
Gemini   May 21 to June 21   69
Cancer   June 22 to July 22   42
Leo   July 23 to Aug 22   50
Virgo   Aug 23 to Sep 22   63
Libra   Sep 23 to Oct 22   59
Scorpio   Oct 23 to Nov 21   50
Sagittarius   Nov 22 to Dec 21   65
Capricorn   Dec 22 to Jan 19   54
Aquarius   Jan 20 to Feb 18   60
Pisces   Feb 19 to Mar 20   51

According to our analysis, you are a Gemini, May 21 to June 21. But you are certainly not a Cancer, June 22 to July 22.
You claim to be a Taurus, but you are simply in error. Please consult your parents as to your actual birth date.

Very amusing. See here to try for yourself.

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March Books 8) Coalescent

8) Coalescent, by Stephen Baxter

Rather a surprise, this, as Baxter tries to tell a human story and also a grand historical narrative using his characteristic stark narrative technique. While this may not be the best book I’ve read by him, it is probably the most interesting. For various reasons I don’t feel like going into it further at this stage.

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Off work

The children have all had a horrible tummy bug over the last few days, which spread to my mother-in-law who has been staying. Today’s plan was that I would drop her to the airport en route to work. But no, I realised when I woke up that I wasn’t going to move for the rest of the morning; I’ve now struggled downstairs to post this and will go straight back up again.

This Madrid business is pretty horrible.

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Job latest

Thanks to all for your encouraging noises! Now trying to fit my CV into the standard NATO job application form – not a very easy task!

But the deadline for applications is not until 21 April, so I doubt if I’ll hear anything from them before May and probably not know if I have the job until June, with presumably the standard bureaucratic faffing meaning I wouldn’t start until August if I got it. (Actually if that was the timescale I’d take August off on holiday and start in September.)

But the good thing is that it doesn’t interfere with the timescale of what was until yesterday Plan A (and is now Plan B), to try and get into the European Commission. Belt and braces; a good combination!

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